-
Thou
shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on
the modem.
-
Thou
shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
-
Thou
shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
-
Thou
shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as
if thou are transparent.
-
Thou
shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
-
Thou
shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
-
Thou
shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on
it.
-
Thou
shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid,
as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
-
Thou
shall not jump onto thy human's lap as soon as they is
sit down onto the toilet seat.
-
Thou
shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4
A.M.
-
Thou
shall realize that the house is not a prison from which
to escape at any opportunity.
-
Thou
shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too
slow.
-
Thou
shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests
in thy house.
-
Thou
shall remember that thou are a carnivore, houseplants
are not meat.
-
Thou
shall show remorse when being scolded.
